You've read about the mummy Cat
And my opinion now is that
It wasn't such a cat uncommon
That was entombed with Tutankhamen,
For there were Cats on walls and floors
And piled behind the sacred doors
And sometimes on the pharaohs' laps
(Though pharaohs kept this under wraps).
Some Cats were young and some were olden,
Some were ragged, some were golden,
Some were wild and some were tamed,
Some anonymous, others named,
Some were smart and some were dummies,
Some were dads (though all were mummies),
Some were this and some were that--
But
        How would you mummify a Cat?

So first, indulge me while I chant:
A CAT IS NOT AN ELEPHANT. 

An Elephant is very big.
Bigger than a Cow or Pig
(And you will be in serious error
If you thing it's like a Capybara).
So Elephants are hard to wrap
Without their falling off your lap;
And many times you are unable
To lift them up onto a table,
For such a task become as fuss
And may necessitate a truss.
But what will make a mild man froth,
Is what you need in terms of cloth,
For yards of material are required
And afterwards, you're sick and tired
Of wrapping legs and trunk and tummy
To try to make a jumbo mummy. 

So I'll repeat it loud and firm:
A CAT IS NOT A PACHYDERM. 

You mummify a Cat with ease,
Like combing hair or bending knees.
First you get a cooking vat
Inside which you'll dip you Cat,
And in it blend all kinds of junk
Like rotten eggs and eau de Skunk,
Some motor oil and egg foo yung.
Some spicy herbs and Camel dung.
And spoiled milk and a tennis shoe,
And rancid fat, and to this goo
So it's complete
You apply a little heat.
Then the Cat you dip inside
So all the stuff is on its hide,
And wrap the little feline beast
From head to tail, from west to east
With gauze or muslin or strips of sheet,
Taking care to swathe the feet.
By now the smell will drive you mad,
And your vision will go bad,
So to prevent the flow of tears,
Store the Cat for several years,
And when the odor's gone away
Take your Cat and softly say
How much you miss the little critter
But how you detested Kitty litter,
And how while you kept him 'round the house,
He never caught a single Mouse.
And then you add the final tease--
You're glad he's gone: You hated Fleas. 

So this is this, and that is that:
And there's how you MUMMIFY A CAT.

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